and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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