Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
