I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
