i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
