I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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