hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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