Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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