Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
