Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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