ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
