i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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