Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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