This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize