i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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