I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize