ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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