if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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