i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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