Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you had me at cake vodka
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
