i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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