My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
