Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
