Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
