Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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