Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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