We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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