you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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