they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
