You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
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this will be a night to untag.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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