oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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