is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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