Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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