Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
