Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
nutella sex= disaster
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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