you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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