I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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