i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize