hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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