dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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