Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.