I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
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woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
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What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off