This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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