This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.