Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
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