What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
