im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
