Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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