he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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