I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
