she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
