Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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