You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
