Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm just crazy horny about you
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
