I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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