If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
