so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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