Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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