The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
