i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
