You work out of a Hotel?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
